The Dream Avatar:
This is who I am and who I aim to be.
An exercise provided by @kenney.tj of creatopia
Which outlines who I am.
Where I want to be.
What challenges I’ll face.
And the solutions to overcome them.
This has been an incredibly impactful exercise as someone who has lost their sense of identity many times it’s nice to have a complete idea of who I am and what I enjoy and what my dreams and values are. This allows me to align my actions with the person I see myself becoming and provides solutions to any problems I may face while getting there. I recommend you do the same as it will give you an incredible insight into your mind. Remember be honest. Godspeed.
STEP 1: PROFILE
● Age: 25
● Gender: Male
● Ethnicity: African/British
● Languages: English
● Habits: Pray, Bible, Read, Journal, Draw, Document, Scroll Instagram, Watching Youtube
● Hobbies: Learning Psychology, Learning Philosophy, Learning Alchemy, Learning Metaphysics, Drawing, Reading, Praying, Journaling
● Likes: Learning, Doing, Jazz, Rap, Hip-hop, Art, Philosophy, Alchemy, Psychology, Metaphysics, Journaling, God, Jesus, Gingers, Women, Gaming, Coding, Building, Freedom.
● Dislikes: Working, Responsibility, Effort, Embarrassment, Guilt, Shame, Anxiety, Worrying.
● Physical Look: Tall, Stocky, Fat, 100kg, Out of Shape.
● Personality: Anti-Social, Meek, Otroverted, Shy, Analytical.
● Beliefs: God, Self, Human Potential.
● Value: Truth, Peace, Harmony, Resonance, Alignment, Effort, Principles.
● Health: Mental: Suffers from Psychosis/Hypomania, Bipolar, Psychological Addiction to Weed, Shameful Self Perception, Anxious and Fearful, Courageously Self-Aware, Resilient, Foundational, Positive, Creative, Expressive, Fragile but Growing, Addiction Complicated: you’re someone carrying real wounds, rebuilding from scratch, and learning to live with resilience.
Physical: 2min Daily Exercise, Fast Food Diet, Fracture Knee Joint.
Spiritual: Strong Faith in God, Wounded but Yearning for God, Evolving, Wrestling with Guilt/Shame, Feeling Spiritually Unworthy, Desire for Connection: a flame that’s been battered by storms but refuses to go out
● Financial: Unemployed, On Benefits, Not in Education, Employment or Training, Officially
● Relationship: No Romantic Partner, 3 Good Friends, Close with Family but Slightly Distant.
STEP 2: DREAM OUTCOMES
● Lifestyle
○ Exercise More, Go Gym, Do Calesthenics, Mace Ball, Kettlebell, Bulgarian Bag Routine, Start Biking and Start Running.
○ Learn to Swim, Re-learn to Skate, Less Scrolling, More Creating, Learn to Draw What I Imagine.
● Health
○ Mental: Be More Present, Forgive Myself, Seek Out Happiness, Overcome Adversity, Find Purpose, Build a Stable Mental Foundation.
○ Physical: Lose 20kg, Get in Shape, Consistency with Exercise.
○ Spiritual: Develop Relationship with God, Learn to Forgive Myself, Daily Spiritual Habits, Transform Pain into Purpose, Develop Integrity and Principle, See Self as Worthy of Love/Connection.
● Financial
○ Make Money Online, 2k/month, Content Creator.
○ Own Land, Own Digital Real Estate, Own Stocks/Shares.
○ Build an Authentic Personal Brand.
○ N/A, I DONT WANT TO WORK.
○ Develop Any Desired Skill, Become an Autodidact: Learn to Produce, Learn to Code, Learn to Design Websites, Learn 3D Game Art.
● Relationship
○ Get Married at 35.
○ 4 Children by 45.
○ Go on a Date for the First Time.
○ Find 4 Exceptional People to Call Friends – MISFITS inc.
○ Learn More About Parents.
○ N/A
○ Regularly Attend Church.
STEP 3: PROBLEMS
● Lifestyle
○ [Exercise More]: Gym Anxiety, Can’t Afford It, Physically Demanding, Difficult Work, Embarrassment.
○ [Re-learn to Skate]: Injured Knee, Difficult Learning Curve, Fear of Injury.
○ [Less Scrolling, More Creating]: Fear of Judgement, Fear of Embrassment, Imposter Syndrome, Past Failures.
○ [Learn to Draw What I Imagine.]: Arduous Work, Too Much to Learn.
● Health
○ [Be More Present]: Addictions, Scrolling, Weed, Alcohol, Shame, Guilt, Unworthiness, Your mind may drift into past regrets (shame, mistakes) or future fears (relapse, failure).
○ [Forgive Myself]: Shame, Guilt, Anxiety, Fear, Incompetance. Can resurface whenever you stumble (weed, porn, discipline). Believing mistakes mean you’re “back at square one.”
○ [Seek Out Happiness]: Blunted dopamine system may make joy feel muted or “fake.” Chasing highs (weed, stimulation) instead of building steady joy.
○ [Overcome Adversity]: Life will keep throwing setbacks (finances, relationships, health). Believing adversity = proof you’re not strong enough.
○ [Find Purpose]: The search for “big purpose” can feel overwhelming, leading to paralysis. Waiting until you have the perfect answer before acting.
○ [Build a Stable Mental Foundation]: Consistency is fragile — one missed habit can spiral into self-blame. Perfectionism → “If I can’t do it all, I’ll do nothing.”
○ [Lose 20kg]: Weight loss takes time → early progress may feel slow, which can trigger frustration. Turning to extremes (starving, overtraining) → burns you out or backfires.
○ [Get in Shape]: Lack of energy or motivation (especially with your meds + dopamine struggles). Comparing yourself to “fitter” people and feeling hopeless.
○ [Consistency with Exercise]: Mood swings + life stress can throw you off your routine. Missing 1–2 days and then quitting altogether (“all or nothing” thinking).
○ [Develop Relationship with God]: Doubts, shame, or fear that you’ve “let Him down” may make you feel unworthy to approach Him. Avoidance — thinking you need to be “perfect” before showing up to God.
○ [Learn to Forgive Myself]: Past actions, addictions, and relapses keep resurfacing in your mind. Believing forgiveness is a one-time switch → then feeling like you’ve failed when guilt returns.
○ [Daily Spiritual Habits]: Inconsistency — on hard days you’ll feel unmotivated, tired, or distracted. All-or-nothing mindset → missing one prayer/journal leads to stopping altogether.
○ [Transform Pain into Purpose]: Pain may feel too heavy or meaningless in the moment. Believing suffering = wasted time or permanent damage.
○ [Develop Integrity and Principle]: Old temptations (weed, porn, dishonesty, laziness) will test your commitment. Thinking a single failure cancels your integrity.
○ [See Self as Worthy of Love/Connection]: Shame and isolation may make you feel “unlovable.” Pushing people away out of fear they’ll reject the “real you.”
● Financial
○ [Make Money Online, 2k/month, Content Creator]:Inconsistent posting because of mental/energy dips. Overthinking perfection → procrastination. Slow initial growth → discouragement. Chasing trends for quick wins instead of staying authentic.
○ [Own Land, Own Digital Real Estate, Own Stocks/Shares]: Limited capital starting out. Overwhelm from complex financial knowledge. Impatience → wanting results faster than compounding works. Risking too much too soon, gambling instead of investing.
○ [Build an Authentic Personal Brand]: Fear of judgment from others. Difficulty staying consistent in tone and presence. Comparing yourself to established creators. Faking a persona instead of showing your raw growth.
○ [N/A, I DONT WANT TO WORK]: Resistance to traditional 9–5 leads to guilt or fear of laziness. Pressure from society/family to conform. Believing financial independence = avoiding work entirely.
○ [Develop Any Desired Skill, Become an Autodidact]: Shiny object syndrome (jumping between skills without depth). Doubting your ability to self-teach. Lack of structured learning. Consuming endlessly without applying.
● Relationship
○ [Get Married at 35]: Pressure (internal & external) if timeline feels “behind.” Fear of rejection → hesitation to put yourself out there. Balancing independence vs. vulnerability. Rushing into relationships just to meet the milestone.
○ [4 Children by 45]: Doubts about being a capable father given your past struggles. Financial stability concerns. Fear of repeating family trauma. Thinking you must have life “perfectly figured out” before starting a family.
○ [Go on a Date for the First Time]: Anxiety around women (as you’ve shared). Overthinking expectations. Fear of being judged for inexperience. Avoiding dating entirely until you feel “ready.”
○ [Find 4 Exceptional People to Call Friends – MISFITS inc]: Difficulty trusting people deeply. Isolation due to past addictions/mental health struggles. Fear of rejection or not “fitting in.” Settling for surface-level or toxic friendships out of loneliness.
○ [Learn More About Parents]: Old wounds, resentment, or unspoken issues. Fear of what you might uncover. Avoiding the conversation out of discomfort.
○ [Regularly Attend Church]: Inconsistency due to motivation dips. Fear of being judged by the community. Attending only out of guilt or duty, not genuine seeking.
STEP 4: MICRO-PROBLEMS
● Lifestyle
○ [Exercise More]
■ [Waking up tired and choosing comfort over movement. Feeling stared at or comparing yourself to others. Confusion about what workout plan to follow. Soreness → skipping “just one day” that snowballs. Not packing clothes/water → easier to skip.]
○ [Re-learn to Skate]
■ [Procrastinating because “weather’s not good enough.” Forgetting protective gear → higher fear of injury. Knee flares up after a session → discouragement. Seeing younger skaters better than you → comparison trap. Doubting if the hobby is “worth the effort.”]
○[Less Scrolling, More Creating]
■[Picking up your phone “just for 5 mins” → losing an hour. Feeling like your creations aren’t good enough to share. Brain chasing dopamine from likes instead of process. Starting something creative, then stopping midway from doubt. Comparing your work to professionals → paralysis.]
○ [Learn to Draw What I Imagine]
■ [Sitting down with blank paper → nothing comes out. Frustration when your hand won’t match your mind. Temptation to copy instead of imagine. Over-researching tutorials instead of practicing. Slow progress → impatience → skipping practice.]
● Health
Mental
○ [Be More Present]
■ [Mind drifts into past regrets or future fears. Urges to escape into phone, weed, or distractions. Feeling guilty for “not meditating enough” or “not focused.”]
○ [Forgive Myself]
■ [Guilt resurfaces after small mistakes. Overthinking minor failures → “I’m back at square one.” Anxiety spikes when triggered by past events or social comparison.]
○ [Seek Out Happiness]
■ [Low motivation to engage in joyful activities. Feeling that happiness is “fake” or unattainable. Tendency to chase short-term highs (weed, entertainment) instead of steady joy.]
○ [Overcome Adversity]
■ [Becoming overwhelmed by setbacks (money, relationships, health). Believing adversity = personal failure. Giving up early when outcomes aren’t immediate.]
○ [Find Purpose]
■ [Paralysis from searching for “big purpose.” Fear of making the wrong choice → inaction. Comparing self to others who “already have it figured out.”]
○ [Build a Stable Mental Foundation]
■ [Missing small habits → spiral into self-blame. Perfectionism: “If I can’t do it all, might as well do nothing.” Forgetting to track progress → lose sense of stability.]
Physical
○ [Lose 20kg]
■ [Skipping meals or overeating due to stress or cravings. Early frustration if scale moves slowly. Emotional eating triggered by shame, boredom, or anxiety.]
○ [Get in Shape]
■ [Low energy → skipping workouts. Comparing self to others → discouragement. Skipping strength/cardio due to soreness or laziness.]
○ [Consistency with Exercise]
■ [Mood swings or life stress → missing workouts. Missing one session → “all-or-nothing” mindset. Forgetting gym clothes, water, or proper planning.]
Spiritual
○ [Develop Relationship with God]
■ [Feeling unworthy or ashamed → avoiding prayer. Doubts or questioning → demotivation. Thinking you must be perfect before approaching God.]
○ [Learn to Forgive Myself]
■ [Past failures resurface → guilt spikes. Expecting forgiveness to be instant. Negative self-talk overrides compassion.]
○ [Daily Spiritual Habits]
■ [Skipping journaling, prayer, or reading on busy days. Feeling too tired or distracted → giving up for the day. Comparing spiritual growth to others → discouragement.]
○ [Transform Pain into Purpose]
■ [Feeling pain is meaningless or “too heavy.” Resentment about past events blocks reflection. Waiting for clarity before taking action.]
○ [Develop Integrity and Principle]
■ [Old temptations (weed, porn, laziness) → immediate urges. Thinking one slip cancels integrity. Losing motivation to act in alignment consistently.]
○ [See Self as Worthy of Love/Connection]
■ [Shame → withdrawing from friends or family. Fear of rejection → avoiding vulnerability. Overanalyzing interactions → self-doubt.]
● Financial
○ [Make Money Online (2k/month, Content Creator)]
■ [Wake up low-energy → skip content creation. Spending too long editing → never posting. Comparing early numbers to bigger creators → discouragement. Checking analytics too often instead of creating. Starting projects but not finishing (half-written posts, drafts).]
○ [Own Land / Digital Real Estate / Stocks & Shares]
■ [Getting overwhelmed by too much financial info → analysis paralysis. Impulse to “go big” quickly → risky decisions. Putting off learning because it feels boring/complex. Losing patience when returns are slow → temptation to gamble. Comparing progress to wealthier people → frustration.]
○ [Build an Authentic Personal Brand]
■ [Second-guessing what to post → silence. Writing something authentic, then deleting out of fear. Shifting tone/voice too often → inconsistency. Looking at polished influencers → self-doubt. Feeling pressure to “perform” instead of just share your truth.]
○ [“I Don’t Want to Work”]
■ [Feeling guilty when you rest or don’t do “traditional work.” Society/family comments triggering shame. Confusing laziness with intentional freedom → identity conflict. Putting off projects that align with your creative work. Feeling pressure to prove yourself by earning fast.]
○ [Develop Any Desired Skill (Autodidact)]
■ [Starting 3 different tutorials at once → never finishing. Watching learning videos without practicing. Getting frustrated when progress feels slow. Switching skills before reaching competency. Doubting you’re “smart enough” to self-teach → giving up.]
● Relationship
○ [Get Married at 35]
■ [Feeling behind when you see peers in relationships. Procrastinating on dating apps or social events. Second-guessing if you’re “ready” → doing nothing. Rushing conversations just to “get somewhere.” Overthinking texts → ghosting or stalling.]
○ [4 Children by 45]
■ [Worrying about money every time family planning comes up. Self-doubt when imagining yourself as a father. Fear spikes when past family trauma memories surface. Believing you need “perfect stability” first → paralysis. Avoiding conversations with partner/friends about kids.]
○ [Go on a Date for the First Time]
■ [Anxiety before approaching or messaging someone. Replaying scenarios in your head → never acting. Fear of awkward silences → avoiding dates entirely. Self-conscious about inexperience → freezing up. Canceling plans last minute due to nerves.]
○ [Find 4 Exceptional Friends (Misfits Inc)]
■ [Distrust when someone tries to get close. Isolating on “low energy” days → missing opportunities. Settling for shallow connections to avoid loneliness. Avoiding meetups/events out of social anxiety. Fear of rejection → not initiating hangouts.]
○ [Learn More About Parents]
■ [Avoiding calls/visits because it feels “heavy.” Changing subject when deep topics come up. Resentment surfacing mid-conversation → shutdown. Fear of what they’ll reveal about past. Feeling awkward initiating heart-to-heart talks.]
○ [Regularly Attend Church]
■ [Hitting snooze Sunday morning → skipping service. Feeling judged walking in alone or after absence. Guilt-driven attendance → lack of connection. Distracted during service → zoning out. Inconsistency from travel, mood swings, or laziness.]
STEP 5: SOLUTIONS
● Lifestyle
○ [Take Time to Be Still]
■ [Take Action. When thinking past or future emotionally displace negative experiences with positive emotions]
○ [Exercise More]
■ Macro Solutions:
[Identity over outcome: See yourself as “someone who moves daily,” not “someone trying to get fit.”
Low-friction systems: Prep clothes/water the night before → eliminate excuses.
Minimum dose habit: 2–5 mins counts; consistency > intensity.]
■ Micro Solutions:
[Wake up tired → Do 1 stretch or push-up before coffee.
Fear of being stared at → Focus playlist, avoid peak gym hours.
Confusion on workouts → Follow 1 simple plan (push, pull, legs, walk).
Soreness → Swap to light yoga/walk instead of skipping entirely.
Forgot gear → Always keep a small “go-bag” ready.]
○ [Re-learn to Skate]
■ Macro Solutions:
Process > outcome: Success = showing up, not being the best.
Safety = confidence: Gear makes practice consistent.
Tiny exposure: 15 mins skating > nothing.
■ Micro Solutions:
Weather excuse → Set a “fallback activity” (balance drills indoors).
Forgot gear → Keep helmet/pads in a dedicated skate bag.
Knee flare → Ice/stretch routine after every session.
Comparison trap → Reframe: “They had to be beginners too.”
Doubt worth → Remind: skating = joy + movement, not achievement.
○ Less Scrolling, More Creating
■ Macro Solutions:
Replace, don’t erase: Swap scrolling with micro-creation (1 doodle, 1 sentence).
Publicly imperfect: Share raw progress, not polished perfection.
Environment hacks: Keep phone away during creative time.
■ Micro Solutions:
“5 min” scroll urge → Put phone in another room, pick up notebook instead.
Feeling unworthy → Post privately or to close friends only.
Dopamine chasing → Track process goals (“Did I create today?”), not likes.
Midway doubt → Commit to finishing ugly → growth over polish.
Comparing to pros → Follow more beginners, mute polished feeds.
○ Learn to Draw What I Imagine
■ Macro Solutions:
Volume over perfection: 100 bad sketches > 1 forced masterpiece.
Imagination = trainable: Build prompts (draw “a chair in space,” “a tree made of glass”).
Iteration mindset: Every failed drawing is data.
■ Micro Solutions:
Blank page → Start with random scribbles, turn them into something.
Hand ≠ mind → Warm-up with simple shapes before complex.
Copy temptation → Mix 80% imagination, 20% references.
Over-research → Cap tutorials to 10 min, then draw for 30.
Slow progress → Track daily drawings in a “bad art” folder → proof you’re improving.
■ [Your macro struggles: procrastination, comparison, avoidance, perfectionism.
Your micro counters: prep systems, tiny minimum standards, reframing “bad reps” as growth, replacing scrolling with creating.]
● Health
Mental.
○ [Core Challenge: Bipolar + psychosis risk, weed addiction, shame, anxiety, fragile but creative.
Core Strengths: Self-awareness, resilience, creativity, curiosity (psychology/philosophy).]
■ [Macro Solutions:
Stability First: Build a low-stress mental routine (sleep, food, journaling) → keep your bipolar balanced.
Channel Addiction Energy into Creation: Replace the “dopamine hit” of weed/scrolling with drawing, coding, or journaling.
Re-frame Shame → Story: Shame = proof you’ve survived. Journal daily: “What did I carry today that once broke me?”
■ Micro Solutions:
Craving weed → Delay by 15 mins and do 1 push-up, 1 sketch, or 1 prayer first.
Shame thoughts arise → Write 1 counter-statement in a journal: “This is part of me, but not all of me.”
Anxiety spike → Box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4).]
Physical
○ [Core Challenge: Overweight, knee fracture, fast food diet, only 2 min exercise/day.
Core Strengths: Desire for improvement, resilience, foundational courage.]
■ Macro Solutions:
Diet First: Switch from “fast food diet” to simple, cheap staples: rice, beans, eggs, frozen veg → no fridge needed, just shelf-stable.
Low-Impact Exercise: Protect the knee → walking, light resistance bands, chair workouts.
Track Tiny Wins: 2 min daily exercise → grow it into 5, then 10.
■ Micro Solutions:
Craving fast food → Swap one order with tinned beans/rice meal (like we made earlier).
Knee pain → Stretch + ice daily, avoid “all or nothing” workouts.
No motivation → Commit to just 1 rep (1 push-up, 1 squat) → momentum builds.]
Spiritual
○ [Core Challenge: Wrestling guilt/shame, feels unworthy, yet strong yearning for God.
Core Strengths: Deep faith, resilience, love of prayer, journaling, philosophy.]
■ [Macro Solutions]:
Faith as Relationship, not Performance: Stop waiting to be “perfect” before approaching God.
Daily Spiritual Anchor: 5 mins prayer/journaling → same time daily.
Transform Guilt into Offering: When guilt rises, give it as a prayer: “Lord, here’s my weakness. Use it for good.”
■ Micro Solutions:
Skip prayer → Whisper a one-line prayer instead (“Lord, guide me”). Counts.
Shame → Open Bible randomly, read one verse, journal what it means.
Feeling unworthy → Repeat: “God meets me where I am, not where I pretend to be.”]
● Financial
○ [Core Challenge: On benefits, unemployed, resistant to 9–5, wants creative freedom (content, coding, art).
Core Strengths: Loves learning, creating, documenting, journaling, psychology, coding, philosophy.]
■ Macro Solutions:
Creative Micro-Work: Start with documenting (journals → posts). Share your self-growth journey → builds brand + consistency.
Skill Building: Focus on 1 skill (coding or content creation) → resist shiny object syndrome.
Slow Wealth: Start reading about digital assets (stocks, online content, small digital products). No gambling.
■ Micro Solutions:
Mental dips → Schedule content on “high energy” days, drip it out.
Procrastination → Use 20-min work bursts (Pomodoro).
Overwhelm → Focus on 1 output per day: 1 drawing, 1 post, or 1 paragraph.]
Relationship
○ [Core Challenge: Shy, anti-social, no partner, fear of dating, small circle, wants deep friendships.
Core Strengths: Honest, thoughtful, analytical, loyal, yearning for connection.]
■ Macro Solutions:
Friendship First: Build deep male/friend connections → forms “Misfits crew.”
Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety: Small, low-stakes interactions daily (say hi to a stranger, compliment barista).
Dating Prep: Focus on self-acceptance before seeking a partner.
■ Micro Solutions:
Avoiding events → Commit to 30 mins attendance, leave if needed.
Overthinking text → Send a simple honest line: “Hey, thought of you today, hope you’re good.”
Self-consciousness → Re-frame: “Everyone feels awkward; mine just shows differently.”]
Final Takeaway
I am:
Fragile but growing.
Wounded but resilient.
Drawn to truth, art, God, and freedom.
Your Solutions = Systems of Small Wins:
Mental → Re-frame shame, channel addiction into creation.
Physical → Heal knee, eat staples, grow exercise slowly.
Spiritual → Guilt becomes prayer, relationship over perfection.
Financial → Create/share consistently, build skills, patience > gambling.
Relationship → Small interactions, friendship foundation, date when ready.
